azarel is no more

Meet Arcadia. Cade for short.

---

Arcadia's sanctuary was the girls' restroom in the basement of the school.  Since only a few art rooms, the boiler room, and the athletic director's office shared the hallway with the bathroom, hardly anyone ever used it.  When she felt depressed or bitter or angry, or when she just felt like skipping class, she retreated to the windowless room and curled up in a cushy armchair that the custodians shoved in the bathroom when they were painting and then forgot about.

She wrapped her arms around her knees and closed her eyes.  She was supposed to be in math class, but the weird encounter with Mrs. Stanton did not leave her in the mood for wrestling with a protractor.  An anxious feeling nagged at her stomach, like when she had to give a speech in class.  Something was not right.

A snicker penetrated the silence.  Her eyes flew open.  She was used to hearing weird noises coming from the boiler room next door, but this noise had come from inside one of the stalls, and it was definitely not made by a machine.  But the laughter, though humanlike, didn't quite sound like it came from a teenage girl.  It was garbled and high pitched.  

She knelt down and peered beneath the stall, looking for a pair of Converse sneakers or ballet flats.  What she saw stopped her breath.  She leapt into movement, crossing the room in a fraction of a second.  For a moment, she was afraid the door would be locked.  It wasn't.  She yanked the door open and ran all the way down the hall and up the steps to the main floor of the building before stopping to breathe.  

She leaned against a locker and tried to digest what she'd just seen.  Beneath the stall door was a pair of legs and bare feet.  If she could call them feet.  The skin was a dark, shimmering green.  The toes of the thing could be more accurately described as claws.  As she'd watched, one of the feet had stepped closer, as if the thing were about to open the door to greet her.  Face to face.  But she hadn't given it the chance.  She pinched herself.  What was this nightmare?  Why couldn't she wake up?  

---

Thus, LIFE AFTER AZAREL becomes THE PURPOSE. My next big project. Putting MATCHED on hold for a while, to simmer.

obligatory reflective 2008 post

2008 was not really a good year for me.  I won't get into it, but some bad stuff happened, and then some more bad stuff happened.  I can't really point my finger at anything good that stands out.  I didn't run a marathon.  I didn't finish my thesis.  I didn't have a baby.

But.  But.  I made it out alive.  And I'm feeling strong going into 2009.  Even though bad things happened, I believe those things kicked me in the butt until I spun around and faced the right direction.  That's where I'm headed in 2009.  The right direction.

So, on with the resolutions, right?  I kind of mentioned some before, but here they are.

1.  Work out half an hour a day, five days a week (to begin with).  

2.  No more junk food.  

3.  Write at least half an hour a day, every day.  I can't be a writer if I don't write!  Need to get back in NaNo mode.

4.  Finish my thesis.

2009 will be the year of the svelte(er) author Jill.  Hear me roar.  Rarr.  

Okay.  Back to my thesis.  :P

deadlines

"I love deadlines.  I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."  -Douglas Adams

Days left of Christmas break:  6

Days left before I meet with my professor:  3 1/2

Pages to be written before meeting with prof:  20

Novels to be graded before next Monday:  11

Short stories to be graded before next Monday:  85

Pages of manuscript to be revised:  35

Games of Catan to be won:  3 (completed)

Christmas break always goes by too quickly.  Sigh.  

late nights and new obsessions

1.  I was up until 2 a.m. this morning playing this.  Originally I saw my in-laws playing it on the X-Box 360, and it looked pretty lame.  But last night we broke out the actual board game, and I fell in love, even though I lost the first two games horribly.  It took me until 2 a.m. to actually win a game, and now I'm hooked.  I'm looking it up online, and there seems to be an online version, so I'm psyched.

2.  My sister just texted me to tell me she loves Blair.  On Christmas Eve, I got her addicted to Gossip Girl (the show), but she was rooting for lame Dan & Serena.  Now she knows what's up and is feeling the Chuck & Blair love.  As she should.  Has anyone read these books?  I've flipped through a couple but haven't really delved into them.  Are they as good as the show?

3.  In exchange for the first season of Gossip Girl, my sister gave me seasons 1 & 2 of One Tree Hill.  This show is by no means as "awesomely awesome" as GG, but they make for good half-watching as I level Aestral (hey, no making fun of my greens).

4.  Um, no writing is going on.  I know, I know.  I suck.  I did, on a whim, send my first chapter to Firebrand Literary Agency for their Query Holiday, so I need to finish revising DTY, at the very least.  I lack motivation.  Is anyone else feeling this slump lately?

5.  I didn't get a ton of Barnes and Noble giftcards like Sara, but I did get a copy of New Moon and a book about writing YA fiction, so that was kind of exciting.

OK, I know I need to get my butt to work (or at least butt in chair).  Maybe, along with my New Year's resolution to work out for at least half an hour a day and cut out fast food, I should make a writing resolution, NaNoWriMo-style.  I will think about it and post my writing goal soon.  

Hope you all are having fun in your last few days of 2008!  

Merry Christmas

That is all.  :)

American Teen

First of all, wow, don't go to Target two days before Christmas.  Eeek.  It was scary.

I was looking for DVDs for my beloved family members and noticed the documentary AMERICAN TEEN.  I remembered seeing previews of it a few months back and thinking it looked interesting, so I threw it in my cart.

I wasn't expecting much, just like a movie-length version of MTV's True Life.  But, wow.  You need to see this movie.  The nerd broke my heart but made me facepalm half the time.  I hated the prom queen, but then she made me cry.  The rebel, Hannah, was awesomely beautiful and charismatic.  The director, Nanette Burstein, weaved these real teens' lives into a story about expectations vs. reality, the heartache of being 17, and the fears and prejudices that plague all high school kids.  I think I've said before that I teach high school.  These are my kids.  These are the kids at every high school.  If you write YA, consider this film research for your craft.  Trust me, it rocks.

After I watched the movie, I picked up LOOKING FOR ALASKA again, and I keep seeing Alaska as Hannah from the American Teen movie.  They are both so quirky and vibrant and sad and gorgeous.  I've stopped fighting it.  For me, Alaska is Hannah.  Hannah is Alaska.  

We're traveling to my hometown today, so the next few days will be all about family.  I might sneak in an entry, but don't be surprised if I don't. 

Happy Holidays!

3 things

1.  Sorry I haven't been writing much lately.  I've been doing far too much talking about writing lately and not nearly enough doing it.  So I'm trying to remedy that situation.  (And, of course, editing.)

2.  Bought some new books:  Looking for Alaska, Inexcusable, and Give a Boy a Gun.  I've already read the last one (for my thesis), but I've heard tons of book talks on the first two and am so excited to read them.  I've gotten through a few chapters of Looking for Alaska and am so impressed by the voice!  And I've heard more than a few writerly people say that's what's most important in YA: voice.  I'm interested to read Inexcusable because the book is narrated by a guy who's been accused of rape.  We've been discussing unlikable narrators/characters who do despicable things lately, and I want to see how the author handles this character.

3.  Another song for Mazzy!

Oh, and two songs for my friend who thinks Modest Mouse is too "cute."

Black Cadillacs (my personal favorite)

Bukowski  (which I really didn't appreciate until I actually read some Bukowski in my poetry class last summer)

tunes

10k left to edit.  Thanks for my lovely beta volunteers!  I am not quite finished editing, but I will definitely e-mail you within the week.

In the meantime, here are some songs:

Chloe's theme

From Shawna to Donnie

From Donnie to Shawna

And what I'm really excited about:

Mazzy's theme

Can't wait to find out what she's all about.

this is it

Today's a snow day, and I'm totally going to finish editing Drawn to You.  Then I'll have all the rest of break to work on Matched, and I can start querying Drawn to You after the holidays.

Um, anyone still want to beta Drawn to You?

the temptress

I've noticed a lot of writer blogs addressing the issue of being tempted by that new idea while the old WiP needs to be finished.

So I guess it's my turn.

My last few posts have focused on my new idea.  The bright, new, shiny one.  I'm sooo psyched about it!  I keep thinking about Mazzy and how things are going to go for her.  Of course she won't be assigned to the guy she wants.  But who will she be assigned to?  And who will I introduce as the real love interest?  I've got so many ideas.  But I feel like I can't really shift gears and pay attention to that until I finish revising DRAWN TO YOU.  I've got about 50 pages left of revising to do.  My goal is to finish over Christmas break so then I can pay some attention to Mazzy.

But then poor Az and Icky are stuck in their little file, being ignored.  Their outline is all finished.  I know what to do with them.  But I don't feel the excitement I feel about Mazzy.

Kiersten said she felt lonely, now that she's sent her favorite people out into the world.  I feel guilty, leaving my characters all shut up in their file to rot.  :(

something new

Mazzy Fair was an overachiever.  Always had been, always would be.

The night before the MATCH exam, she crammed little pink note cards with her interests, quirks, habits, and future plans, just like the planning guides instructed.  Then she filled out blue note cards, listing every characteristic she wanted in her lifemate.

Funny.  Smart.  Cute.  She crossed all these out.  So obvious.  That's what everyone wanted.  She needed to be more specific.

Kind to animals.  Passionate about recycling.  Enjoys mugs of hot vanilla on wintry evenings.  Loves sim-camping.  She underlined that one twice.  She organized the cards from most important traits to least and stuck them in a folder so she wouldn't forget them the next day.  The big day.  The day that would decide her fate.

She glanced at the tiny computer on her pinky finger.  After midnight!  All the planning books said to get a good night's sleep the night before the MATCH exam.  If she was too tired to write an essay accurately describing what she wanted in her lifemate, she was screwed.

Mazzy spun the dial on her thermostat to 4, which was lower than most of her friends' ideal sleep temperatures, but - hey - this was her pod, and she had it to herself, for at least a few more days.

The lights dimmed.  Her computer whispered, "Goodnight, Mazzy."  As she drifted off, she pictured her perfect lifemate:  tall and lanky, with a warm smile.  Mmmmm.  Only twelve more hours before she met the man she'd spend the rest of her life with.

the hook

There have been tons of "first sentence" and "first paragraph" contests lately, where you're judged on your ability to hook the reader as quickly as possible. It got me to thinking: how important is a hook?

To examine this issue further, I pulled out my copy of THE SECRET HISTORY by Donna Tartt, one of my very favorite novels. A couple of years ago, I was browsing B&N for something good, and I grabbed a copy of THE LITTLE FRIEND (by the same author) and took it up to the register. The employee advised me in a low voice to go back and get her other book instead. I'm glad I followed his advice because, although THE LITTLE FRIEND is good, I liked THE SECRET HISTORY a lot more.

I was sucked in from the very first page. Which was, mind you, part of a prologue. (Ya know how everyone's saying agents hate prologues? I guess, like everything else, it depends on how good it is.)

Here's the first sentence: The snow in the mountains was melting and Bunny had been dead for several weeks before we came to understand the gravity of the situation.

Me? Hooked right there! Plenty of stories start out with a murder, but this story is unique because the narrator is so conversational and matter-of-fact that you take his side immediately, even though he's just had a hand in a guy's death. You go into the story wondering exactly what role the narrator played in Bunny's death and whether he'll make it out okay in the end (the narrator, not Bunny, of course). So once Tartt starts chapter one, you're trying to figure out exactly what happened from the beginning and whether Bunny is enough of a jerk that people would want to kill him.

Of course, hooks and crazy plots are nothing if the story is not delivered well, and Tartt excels at delivery. Her prose style is so beautiful; when I read her stuff, I am continuously stopping and wondering how anyone could think of such beautiful phrasing.

I suppose, in the end, the hook is just part of the package, the promise of a good story. Without it, the reader will never get past the first page. But, to keep your reader engaged, you've got to be able to deliver on your promise.

What's the first line of your favorite book?  Did it hook you right away, or did it take a few pages?

bookwormed

Ooooh, sneaky Julie bookwormed me when I wasn't looking! Here are the rules:

1. Open the closest book - not a favorite or most intellectual book, but the closest at the moment - to page 56.

2. Write out the fifth sentence on the page, as well as the two to five sentences following.

3. Then open your ms to page 56 and write out the fifth sentence, as well as two to five additional ones.

4. Tag five (or more) buddies to do this same exercise.

Here I go:

1. Well, the book closest to me was my ms, but I'll do that one next. The one next closest is AFTER by Francine Prose, a YA tale about what happens to a school climate after a school shooting. (It's for my thesis.)

2. "Trust me, it won't," I said. I told myself I had nothing to worry about. But of course I was worried. One of the things they'd talked about on the TV show that my dad and Clara watched were the kids who'd gotten nailed by false-positive results. It was like everything else that had happened since Pleasant Valley. Your punishment had nothing to do with whether or not you'd personally done anything wrong.

-Well, I think that passed the test! In that paragraph, the whole theme of the book was summed up! Let's see if mine does as well.

3. "You bet your sweet ass it is," Shawna drawled. "You in?"

"Hmmm, let me think about it," Judd said, nuzzling her neck. "How could I refuse anyone who smells so good?"

Judd's extreme proximity caused Shawna to wiggle uncomfortably. But at that moment, she looked down the hall and saw Elijah coming toward them. She turned back toward Judd, pulling him closer, pouting sexily.

-It's funny that this scene was the one that came up. I struggled to show that Shawna was only using Judd to make Elijah jealous. I still don't know that it's successful. It seems a bit confusing. Like, why is she flirting with him and then wiggling uncomfortably? Aw, well. Something to work on.

4. Your turn! I tag

Sara

Spyscribbler

Rhonda

Dal

Renee

You're it!

wintergirls - laurie halse anderson

My professor gave me an ARC of Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson because it has some elements that relate to my thesis. Last night, I put Wally aside and dug into Anderson's latest, not expecting to be up reading until 3 a.m. I don't think I'd have started it last night if I knew it was going to be so scary; Mr. W. was out of town, and I was left to imagine ghost girls climbing in bed with me and breathing burnt sugar breath in my face. Definitely a different version of wintergirls from Melissa Marr's.

The book starts with Lia discovering that her oldest and best friend, Cassie, has been found dead in a hotel room. The circumstances surrounding the death are mysterious, and Lia spends much of the book torturing herself for not being there when her friend needed her and searching for the truth about what happened to her friend. I won't go into too much detail, but Lia is haunted day and night, literally as well as metaphorically.

Not only does Lia have to struggle with her friend's death, but her eating disorder is getting worse. Anderson's depiction of anorexia is dead on, highlighting the preoccupation with numbers (calories, minutes spent exercising, pounds) and negative tape that runs through the minds of the eating disordered (stupid fat slob, you don't deserve to eat). This is all done in Anderson's distinctive poetic prose.

I absolutely recommend this book. Anderson is an amazing writer, and this book does not disappoint.

lightbulb - smashed.

So I had this idea I've been kicking around for a few weeks. I got it after one of those eHarmony commercials.

Did you guys ever take those quizzes on Valentine's Day when you were in high school? Where it matched you up with 5 people with similar interests?

What if you had to take that quiz on Valentine's Day of your sixteenth year, and that was who you were expected to marry? No matter if you liked someone else, or are gay, or just don't feel like getting married, dammit!

So that was the basic premise, and of course you'd have the girl who didn't want to marry the guy she was assigned to, and she'd have a gay guy as a best friend to commiserate with.

I was really excited. I called up my sister and pitched the idea. She said: "You mean like The Giver?"

Smash, crash goes the lightbulb.

Do you think this idea is different enough to float? I haven't read The Giver in like 10 years. I totally don't remember anything about it beyond the fact that you can only have so many kids.

Should I scratch this and go on thinking of my next book idea? Maybe it's stupid to post my idea up for all to see, but I just want some feedback on whether this is viable or not (I will delete this post in a day or so if I decide to use it, but I trust youze guys who read my blog regularly). What do you think?

main characters: how important is their likability?

So I've been reading THE HOUR I FIRST BELIEVED by Wally Lamb.

And I don't like the main character. Why? Well, he has a tendency toward violence. He is a teacher who's reached a level of cynicism that is just sad. And he has insulted fat people. Multiple times.

What do you think? Can you keep reading a story narrated by someone you despise? I will probably stick with it because of the subject matter and the fact that I enjoyed Lamb's work in the past. I'll give him a second chance. But I hope he doesn't disappoint in the end. I want to see some character growth. I want to see this guy realize people are so much more than the way they look.

THE HUNGER GAMES by Suzanne Collins

So I'm going to do this review now, while the story is fresh in my head. I just picked up Wally Lamb's THE HOUR I FIRST BELIEVED (squeeee), so before I get all consumed with that, I'd better write this. I'll try not to spoil anything, but don't read this entry if you don't want to know anything that happens in the first chapter. I'm not spoiling anything that's not on the book jacket, though.

I bought THE HUNGER GAMES after noticing it on several people's shelfari bookshelves. The premise sounded interesting: in the future, after America falls apart, a new order arises. The wealthy people in power live in the Capitol, surrounded by thirteen (well, twelve, after one is destroyed after an attempted revolution) districts. Each district has their own economic task to focus on. The MC, Katniss, lives in district 12, responsible for mining coal. We enter the story right before the yearly drawing for the participants who will take part in the Hunger Games (there's the Shirley Jackson part).

One boy and one girl are drawn from each district to compete in the Hunger Games, a fight to the death. When her younger sister is drawn, Katniss volunteers to take her place. The rest of the novel is a fascinating examination of what exactly happens to people when they're faced with war. Either their good nature rises to the top, or their animal instincts to survive kick in. There's also an interesting voyeuristic aspect of the novel that combines America's obsession with reality TV with Roman gladiator games.

I started reading this book on Saturday night and finished it Sunday morning. It was that good. In a way, it was sort of exhausting, though, because there was no down time in this book; there was conflict and the possibility of death in every scene.

Because of the gore, I wouldn't suggest this book to students younger than sophomores (or maybe freshmen, depending on their maturity level). There isn't any sex to speak of, and very little (if any) swearing. But it is deeply disturbing. There is one bit toward the end that haunted me as I tried to fall asleep Sunday night. I'm kind of flinching, just thinking of it now.

I would rate THE HUNGER GAMES in the top three books I've read this year (the others being WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN and NINETEEN MINUTES -- see a theme here?). I strongly recommend it.

Ooooh... now for Wally Lamb. I've been waiting for something new from him for so long. And it's about Columbine, which relates to my thesis, kind of. Reading his book counts as working on my thesis, right?

P.S. Well, UGLIES was pretty good, too.  Make that my top 5 books of the year.

first paragraph contest at nathan's!

You bring the paragraph, I'll bring the Diet Pepsi!

I just entered a bit of DRAWN TO YOU. *biting fingernails*

See you over there.

just, wow.

I just read the first chapter of HUNGER GAMES by Suzanne Collins. That is how you write. Even though it's in first person POV and present tense, both things which normally turn me off, I am hooked. The voice is amazingly strong, and I'm already loving the tough, no-nonsense MC. The world Collins thought up is terrifying -- think along the lines of Shirley Jackson's "The Lottery." I'll write a proper review later, but I just had to say this is shaping up to be a phenomenal book!

if everyone jumped off a bridge...

I probably would, too.

Hence, my character pix for Drawn to You.

Chloe Williams has always been kind of shy, preferring to escape into her drawings rather than interacting with actual human beings (they're usually jerks, anyway). She's had a tough time of things, dealing with her father's alcoholism; a mom who'd rather boink her coworker than show up for dinner; and the fact that her brother, her only confidant, has chosen to join the army rather than go to jail. When she discovers she can manipulate the future through her drawings, she has to decide whether her desire for a better life is worth the complications that come with messing with the lives of others. *Note: I LOVE this pic because it's pretty mysterious and shows off Chloe's crazy hair!*

Chloe's brother, Donnie, didn't mean to hurt anyone when he stole a considerable amount of money from the music store's cash register. It's just that his family's power was about to be shut off when his father lost his job. Unfortunately for Donnie, his boss was not amused. He is forced to choose between going to jail or serving his country. He chooses the latter. But what will happen when Chloe realizes she can't handle her parents without her big brother? How can she get him home safely?

Elijah James has been living down the street from the Williams family since they were all kids. Now, he's the guitar player in the hot local band, Who Killed My Sea Monkeys? And he has no clue that his childhood friend, Chloe, fantasizes about him every night before she falls asleep. When Elijah and Chloe find a common interest - hatred for the hypocrisy of rich bitch Shawna Strong - they have the opportunity to do more with each other than play kick the can, like when they were kids.

Everyone thinks Shawna Strong's got it all - looks, wealth, Chloe's brother - or at least until he's caught stealing and is sent off to Iraq instead of going to jail. But does she really have it all? The pressures of staying thin, getting perfect grades to follow in her father's Yale law footsteps, and heading the school's Students Against Drunk Driving chapter really add up. And when Elijah and Chloe plot to get revenge on Shawna, her life becomes even more complicated. What happens when a girl who has it all loses everything?

Hee! That was fun!

silly people

It just kills me when I tell people about my novel and the first thing they ask is, "Are you going to get it published?"

Pshah! Yeah, I'm going to give it to the publishing fairies, who will toss it in a machine that will produce millions of copies (with a breathtaking cover and a picture of me, fifty pounds lighter, on the back). Then the fairies will deliver my books to every Barnes and Noble, Borders, and independent book store in the nation. THEN, like a week later, I'll get a check for six million dollars in the mail, and my husband and I will be able to pay back our student loans and retire.

*grumble*

Off to edit.

turbulence in the publishing world

Well, it pretty much sucks to be anyone involved in publishing right now, I think. Yeah, it sucks for me and other aspiring authors because companies will slow down acquiring new projects, but it really sucks for those who lost their jobs in the past few weeks.

Since everyone who visits me is, I'm pretty sure, a writer, what are your plans for the upcoming months? Will you hunch down and polish your manuscripts until they gleam? Try to write as much as you can so you'll have tons of stuff to submit when things calm down? Or will you go on with business as usual?

I'm nowhere near the querying stage, despite my drafted letter below. I'm editing DRAWN TO YOU, slowly but surely. It's pretty fun to add in scenes. When it's all said and done, I think the ms will be closer to 60k. Whee!

THE FOREST OF HANDS AND TEETH giveaway!

I just saw that Sharon is giving away a copy of Carrie Ryan's THE FOREST OF HANDS AND TEETH! Go comment on her blog for a chance to get it!

query weariness

So I'm taking a break from editing and played with a query letter today. Any suggestions?


Dear Dream Agent:

Chloe Williams has had a crappy year, with her drunk father losing his job, her brother evading jail and joining the army, and her mother choosing to boink her coworker instead of show up for dinner.

When she receives a certificate for drawing lessons as a gift for her sixteenth birthday and discovers she has the power to manipulate the future through her drawings, she thinks she’s got the answer to her problems. All she has to do is draw her father on the wagon, her brother back safe in the United States, and her mother in her own bedroom, where she belongs.

If only things were so simple! Sure, being able to manipulate the future has some perks, like being able to cause zits to crop up right between her rival’s eyes or design a monster spider to make a cocky football player squeal like a little girl on Easter morning. Maybe she can even hook that hot lead singer in the local band, Who Killed My Sea Monkeys.

But her drawings have unexpected consequences. After she unintentionally ruins the life of a girl she’s always hated, she realizes there are boundaries she mustn’t cross. Some of her mistakes are fixable; most aren’t. Chloe ultimately has to decide whether she can use her charcoal pencil responsibly or whether she’ll have to put away her sketchpad for good.

DRAWN TO YOU is a completed YA urban fantasy at 50,000 words, available upon request.

Thank you very much for your consideration of this project. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Jill Wheeler